Love At Last Sight by Kerry and Chris Shook

This book, Love At Last Sight by Kerry and Chris Shook, is different than the last one. It is non-fiction, which is not my usual genre, but I was glad to read this book. It is about growing and deepening relationships. A good read for everyone.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Two Tickets to the Christmas Ball by Donita K. Paul

I'm reviewing this book for a purpose. :-) I want to continue to receive from books from the company.

The book is called Two Ticket's to the Christmas Ball by Donita K. Paul. She's the author of DragonSpell.

I read this book in about a day! I could not put it down. It's a Christmas book with Christian values and themes in it. I smiled many times, including at the end. If you are wanting a quick read, some laughter, the true meaning of Christmas, and romance thrown in, get your hands on this book.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.


Enjoy!

VBS

VBS went really well this past week. Everyone said it was the best one we had. I was in the Spyglass Theater part. The theme for VBS this year was The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. It was so much fun to dress up as a pirate...erm I mean a piratess! hehe

Monday's Bible story was about Moses and the burning bush.
Tuesday's was about Gideon.
Wednesday's was about the fiery furnace.
Thursday (which was mine!) was about Jesus and Peter walking on the Sea of Galilee.
Friday was about Paul being shipwrecked.

I'm worn out by all the fun and details and such. I'm looking forward to next year! :-)

Long time

It has been such a long time since I wrote. I just didn't have much to say, I guess. I though I didn't. Sometimes I just need to start writing and I'll come up with something. I usually do.

It's going to be a fun time this year again helping out with VBS. I'll tell you about it as the week goes on this coming week that is.

Well I'm signing off for now. God Bless you. Have a good one...day or night.

Another vent on a different topic...

Is it okay if I vent again? I already did a bit to my husband, Ben ;-) but I needed to do so again! lol

*sigh* I understand now that my brother is trying to be big brother even though is a year younger than me! He still tries to tell me how to run my life, spend my time, etc. *sigh* What's so exasperating about it that he plays video games! I wonder how a game on FB is different than a video game...??

*shakes head*

BUT I joined that game on FB anyway...lol. I wonder what he will say...it is fun to play though :-) hehe

WARNING A VENT!

Just so you know this is going to be a bit of a vent. I didn't want to put this where it might hurt someone's feelings that hasn't read my blog. lol If it still hurts or offends someone, forgive me and get over it. I already warned you! lol

I am a member of a forum type thing for pregnant women, moms, and women who hope to get pregnant. Today,  I was reading a post about how it isn't far that some women get horrible morning sickness, etc. I wanted to post...you should be glad you are pregnant! Do you have any idea how much it hurts at times to read all these posts about how horrible or unfair this and this is and I'm wanting to tell them...I would LOVE to be where you are! They need to thank God for their blessings...they are bringing life into this world! Be glad...and happy.

*sigh* To be in their shoes...I am trying not to wish away my time right now, but it is SO hard!

God, help me to see that the time I have with Ben now is wonderful times. We need not 'worry' about a child, etc, but I am desiring...yearning for a little one Lord. Please...please...a child(ren) for us.

Let the chaff burn!

I posted this as my Facebook status. It says:


You know how fire consumes everything in its path? That's how Holy Spirit wants to be in our lives. He wants to burn the chaff. He won't burn what you don't give Him. Why would we want to keep any part of ourselves from Him?


Burn the chaff in my life, oh Lord! I'm ready for what is to come. I'm looking ahead and leaving the past in the past!


I am tired of people who aren't willing to give God everything. I want to shake their world and tell them that Jesus (God in human form) gave ALL of Himself! Why can we not give that much to Him? Are we so ungrateful? Are we so snobby? Are we so scared?


Don't YOU have a clue? Have you not even realized that what you are doing is walking ALL over what Jesus has done? Get over yourself and start being the man or woman God has called you to be! PICK YOURSELF UP! Don't be a burden. Let Holy Spirit burn the chaff and move on! There is nothing in this world that you can buy that you can take with you! GOD ONLY WANTS YOU!!


Can you hear it? Can you hear what Holy Spirit is whispering to you?


If you can't hear Him...try this. Speak the name of Jesus out loud over and over...until you can't speak it anymore because the tears are closing your throat.


Can't you see...have you not heard...the Lord is calling you to a higher calling. He is waiting for you. He YEARNS for you! Don't let him wait...run. Run to Him...all who labor and are heavy laden. He will give you rest!

Written May 27, 2010

I wrote this on May 27th, 2010 at 12:10am.

Ben and I have been trying to go to bed earlier. Wednesday morning i got up around 10am...in the morning! Wow! hehe :-P :-D

It was great! I got the dusting in the living room done! woohoo!

Later today, I'll try to get the dusting in my room done.

Lord, help me to remember that You never leave us, You are a mighty God. Help me to remember all that You say to me.

Father, I know I don't spend enough time with You, help me to get alone with You. I need to spend alone time with You where You speak to me.

Lord, when I think about Your goodness, Your blessings, I smile and think of all the times You showed Yourself to be near me.

I ask that You help me to see how I can get to know You. I need to find a secret place to be with You. Show me where it is. I'll meet You there. (Sometimes it ends up being the shower or my office! hehe)

I yearn for You oh Lord. I know You yearn for me. I run after You oh Lord. You run after me.

I am getting sleepy. I'll see You in the morning, Lord. Wake me up early! :-D

Love,

Jennifer

Written May 22, 2010

This is what I wrote in my journal on May 22, 2010 at 1:42 am!

You know how sometimes life just seems to pass you by and then something happens and it feels like one more good thing and You might explode?

That is how I feel about writing and getting my book accepted to be published. If my huge desire-having children-happens, too, I think I could explode with excitement, joy, wonderful feelings, etc.

I know God could do that. I'm just waiting for Him to show up now. to make me see Him do something else that was on my "desire" list. I think I should be content, but I still feel like I should be able to want something more from God. And so I hang on for the most exciting thing for me.

Yes, being published is really exciting, an author's dream come true, but for me...children...that's what I still want.

Am I being selfish? Has my one exciting thing in my life, in this point of my life already been given?

I know my God. I know He is the God of the impossible. Could You, Lord, please give me my biggest desire...children? I know that You can. I just don't know what You are waiting for.

Book Being Published

I got an email yesterday that said that PublishAmerica was going to publish my book that is titled as of now The Light of Amazing Grace.

I am SOOOOOO excited. :-) Yay! :-D lol

When God hears, but doesn't speak

One of my friends on facebook asked about why when you need God's guidance is He silent. I answered her with well maybe there is a part of the equation that isn't in place yet. Maybe is isn't time for God to show us the way yet...to give guidance. Patience is the key to waiting for God to give us what we need...guidance, etc.

God does hear us, but it doesn't mean He will always speak right away. All in His time. I need to come back to this later.

The Space Between posts

I haven't written for awhile. I just don't know what to write. So much is going on in my mind...and I can't put it all together. I do still cry at times...since I'm still in mourning. It will be awhile before I am really okay with moving on.

Sometimes I feel like, I can't I move on with life...but I know that people do it all the time.

Sometimes Ben and I have the most interesting, deep conversations. We laugh a lot. So many things I know I need to do and I just have to start one of them...and get that done.

I'm ready for the next steps in my life to come to pass, Lord. Make my life and heart ready for what you are getting ready to do. I don't need you to flash lights or be fancy. Just to do what only you can do!

My Grandma

I wrote this in my journal.

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 12:30pm my grandma, Ruth Marie Frey, passed away. My mom, Carol, was the last one of us to see her alive. I am sure that will stick with her like she said until she dies.

Ben and I traveled up to PA from VA (about 5 hours) for the viewing and funeral. So, Friday and Saturday (today) we were there in PA.

It is interesting what I have been thinking of now. I think of time gone by and what we as the left behind see as 'missing out' events.

It is amazing to me how all this will go by...this life goes by in a flash, a vapor. It's all a memory in a blur of space and time. Nothing ever stays the same except love and God stays the same.

And so I wait for the time when we meet again.

In the sweet by and by...we shall meet on that beautiful shore.

And then I wrote this...

In a heartbeat,
a vapor, a mist.
In a flower's fragrance,
An aroma of coffee.

(But I didn't like that for this time...for the funeral...and so I wrote this one...)


For Grandpa Frey
By Jennifer Faust
March 23, 2010

Goodbye is not for always,
the waving of a so long
farewell hand is not forever.
The hand of time speeds by on
flashes of lightning and wings of eagles.

The years chase each other in
a game of tag, never to
catch the other.
Before you know it, your hair is
gray and your skin is wrinkled.
Movement is slow. Eyesight
blurred and not as it used to be.

Too many things aren't what they
used to be.
Remembering brings tears
and smiles.
Laughter fills your ears as
memories of by gone days play in your mind.

And you touch the hand
that you've held for so long.
It's cold and unmoving.
Tears stream down your face and
trickle onto the pair of
hands.
"She's gone," a voice declares.
Deep in your heart Father God
whispers to you, "Just for now. You'll
see her soon. Until then, Remember.
Remember that I love you and tell everyone
I love them, too."

Who Are You?

I got this idea from my Our Daily Bread devotion for today.

So, who are you? I'm NOT talking about your career...that's what you do..not who you are.

I'm a white, 28 (soon to be 29) year old, female with a great husband. So, I'm a wife and homemaker. Someday I hope to be a mommy, too.

BUT I know I am not who people see me...my appearance isn't who I am (because I need to lose weight! and lots of it!). I know who I am from being in the presence of God. I'm a follower of Jesus! And I've noticed that we who are Christians...followers of Jesus AREN'T supposed to be anonymous. We are to tell the whole world about Jesus.

So...who are you? Are you listening to what satan says you are OR are you listening to what Jesus says?

Hopefully, you are listening to Jesus, but there are people who are listening to the lies of satan! Let me tell you something. Satan will ALWAYS tell you lies, but Jesus is the one will never lie to you...He is Truth! There is too few truths in this world. Don't let satan take another away from you!

Remember this. We shouldn't continue to be who we are today tomorrow. We should be changed. Next year this time, we should be different. We should be closer to God. We should be thinner if need be. I know I need to be! lol We need to be more loving and caring. We need to look back on last year and say am I still the same as I was last year?

Are you the same person you were last year? Or are you different? Has God changed you? Have you figured out who you are?

I'm a child of the King!

God's Normal

It is very interesting how the world sees normal and how God sees normal. REAL normal isn't about being a size 4, but about being a healthy weight for your height and age (and I know I'm not there). Being normal isn't about having a huge house with many room and three cars when you only need two. Being normal isn't about not having problems. Being normal is about taking our problems to the King of kings and letting him take care of them.

I'm so glad I'm normal in God's view and sense of the word and not the world's. I don't have to try to starve myself or to throw up my food (there are people that do that...you need to get yourself help! That will only work when you WANT it!) to be a size that makes me more like a skeleton than a living, breathing person.

Sure having a nice, big house and three cars isn't going to get you a straight, fast, one-way ticket to Hell, but a greedy, selfish, all about me, and never allowing God to come into your heart life will get you there. Being the world's normal, will get you into Hell because you don't see God as someone that you can run to...you might not even believe God exists! Could be that you just think he isn't interested in you or your life and so you live your life on a path that will lead to eternal death...and there's no way out of that. That's where the normal of this world...living for the world and self...and not living for God...that's what it gets you. I hope you understand what I said.

I want you to think about your life in God's definition of normal. God loves you and created you in HIS image. He wants GOOD things for you. So, when you think of you life in God's eyes...THE WAY HE TRULY SEES YOU...what did you find?

It's okay to cry. It's okay to show emotion. It's okay to be not normal in the world's standards and normal in God's eyes. :-) He loves you...really and truly he does.

If you want to take the step...of faith...and become one of God's children, here's what you do. Go somewhere  where you will be able to talk to God for awhile with NO interruptions. You can just sit or kneel. Just get comfortable. You might be there awhile. Then, tell God how much you need him, how much you want to change, how much you want to know him. Confess your sins, the things that are bad that you did that go against God. Next, thank him for what he did. For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16


God sent Jesus in our place to take the sins from us. We need to thank him for that! Then...just continue talking to God. Let him talk to you. Lastly, tell someone! :-) I'd be glad to hear that you are now part of the family of God. Not because of me, but because of HIM!

Bless the name of the Lord!

Blab 3

I know calling this post "Blab 3" isn't very creative, but oh well. lol I'm saving my creativity for my novel writing. Oh and my writing for my writing course, too.

Today is Saturday, 5:15pm. Ben is about to record the sermon and I'm kind of bored...but not really. I can hear the dryer going in the background and I have music going from our Christian radio station.

This is a great song! *sings* WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE LORD!! :-D

Oh and for your info I have sillyitis. I thought I would warn you. It is contagious...I think. I don't know a cure for it either.

Well, I hope you all have an awesome Sunday and beginning of the week. God Bless!

Blab 2

I skip days for writing in this blog because I just don't have anything to say. It is Sunday night, 7pm and Ben and I are about to go out for a bit. There hasn't been anymore snow lately.

You know that saying "No man is an island unto himself"? I think God knew that to be true before even time began. God knew that Adam needed a helpmate, so he made Eve.

I think sometimes we humans forget about some things. That God knew what he was doing when he brought Adam and Eve together. That God knew what he was doing when he brought me and Ben together. Some people might not understand all the things God has done, but that doesn't matter. We aren't to know everything that God does. That's the mystery part about God.

So many people miss out on the things of God because they are looking for the BIG stuff. They miss the small, every day things that God does.

You know...God is awesome. He amazes me! Everything he does is for my good, even if I don't see it.

I think I have the makings of a sermon here...lol

God Bless, my friends.

Blab

I haven't written in about five days. Not much to write really. Just normal every day kind of stuff going on.

Ben and I are just going about our normal things. He works in his office and I do stuff, too. Ben ordered a thing that counts my steps so that should arrive soon. I'm excited about it.

I really want to lose weight. I think it I try to take about 1,000 steps a day, that would be good. I sit at my computer too much!

Anyone else out there that sits at their desk too much? :-S

I guess that's it for now. Like I said, not much to tell.

Though on February 17th, Bailey, my newest niece was born to my brother and sister-in-law. So, yeah.

It was hard to see the pictures. Read the post about Waiting for Baby or something like that.

Well, I'm gone. See you later.

Baby Wait (personal info)

If you are a long time friend or my husband, you know that I have been waiting sometimes patiently, but mostly impatiently for God to bless me with children.

In the past year or so, I have learned some things about myself. The GYN/OB I go to says I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). That means that sometimes I don't have my monthly period and when I don't, I bleed excessively the next month or so. I don't ovulate. The symptom list goes on and on, but I won't bore you with that here. Go look it up for yourself.

I have been waiting for as long as I can remember for children. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of my own children and what we would do. When I was a teen, I still dreamed. When I was in my twenties, I even made a list of names for my children. I still have that list of eight names, four boy names and four girl names.

When I meant Ben, I didn't even know that one of my boy names was his and his father's-Benjamin Luke. It was almost a 'sign' to me that maybe I would have children.

As the years go by and my thirtieth birthday comes closer...and my mind feels like my dream...my waiting is for naught. But I still pray for children every day, almost daily.

When I hear someone is pregnant or has just given birth to their baby, it is a bittersweet thing for me. I am truly happy for that person and the family, but I have this ache in me that doesn't subside. I cry out to God and say "Why not me? Where's my child?"

I have thought of children and I lay down my future on the altar, but it is hard for me. I even said I would give up having children if that was what God has in mind for me once at my church's altar. I just wanted this yearning that eats at my strength and my peace to be gone. I can barely stand this wanting and waiting anymore. I wonder if I will ever be free from it.

I know that God is there for me, but I can't help the way I feel. I smile and coo at a baby and my mind wonders. Will I ever feel a baby move inside me? Will I ever hear a little voice call me "Mommy"?

Please, don't tell me you know how I feel if you have never been in my place. I am not sure what is worse...being pregnant and losing it due to miscarriage or never being pregnant and never having that special 'knowing' and feeling.

Some women say they don't have the motherly instincts. God placed them in every woman. They are there. Some just don't tap into them. I just pray that I will be able to use them on my biological children and/or on adopted children.

Father God, multiple times I have given you this situation. Again I give it to you. I know you have a plan for me and Ben. Help me to be at peace and to trust your will. In Jesus' precious name, Amen.

Remembered Part 2

The first part is a bit sadder than this one.

I remember when I met my first guy friend online in person. It went well, but there were things that I shouldn't have let happen. We met over Spring/easter Break. And afterwards, nothing was the same. In June I believe it was, we went our separate ways. I have never heard from him since.

I remember the day I met Ben. I was in the PlusOne chatroom. We had a nice chat. We laughed a lot. He was different than the other guy. Ben was my second guy who showed interest in me other than as a friend, but I must admit, the first one wasn't anything really special like Ben.

I remember the first time we talked on the phone, met face to face, held hands. I had never truly understood the things between men and women. At times I still don't. When Ben and I held hands and just walked around campus, it was like electricity flowed from him to me and back again. I still get that feeling.

I remember our first real kiss. Ben had kissed my hand and my cheek, but never my lips. And then...:-) I won't try to explain it. When did it happen? Our wedding day. Two years into our relationship.

So many things to remember...but I'll save those for another time maybe.

Remembered

It is amazing to me at certain times that I remember things from my past. Things I have wanted to forget. People seem to want to erase certain things and I understand that, but what if God is trying to show you something or help you get stronger by letting those things come to mind?

I can still remember when I was younger and people would tease me. It wasn't just the normal "Four eyes" things when I got my glasses. It was the words that stung like..."You're ugly." "You're fat." "Blimp." "Whale." Etc. Words used to tear and rip at my heart. I felt about as big as a flea.

The saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words well never hurt me" is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. People tell us to forget or shake off the words, but it is hard when the words have gone so deep that the piece of glass that was thrown into our hearts with the words gets wedged into the flesh.

If you remove the piece of glass, the heart will bleed. If you don't, the heart will cover it up and removing the piece of glass later will be even harder.

Thankfully, there is hope. His name is Jesus Christ.

See, Jesus will help take the piece of glass out and  repair the heart. You may ask, how do you know? I know because Jesus healed my heart and is still helping me to be renewed.

I didn't just get teased when I was growing up. Lots of other things happened, too. I was sexually abused by my grandfather. I was physically, emotionally, verbally, mentally, and spiritually abused by my father and his father (the grandfather who sexually abused me). I know what it is like to feel like your so small...how can a God that's so big see you. I know what it feels like when no one in the world knows what I know or understands me. I know what it is like to look at someone and wonder...do they see the sadness in my eyes?

I remember feeling like every person so my insides...could see what these two men in my life did to me. Everyone could see the shame and guilt. And I wanted it to go away! I wanted to feel 'normal'.

I remember when I would look at a guy when I was 13 or when I was 15 or when I was 18 or 20, and I couldn't look them in the eye. I bet they wondered what was with me. Maybe to them I was weird, a freak because they didn't know.

I was easier for me to not tell anyone anything. So much hurt...so much pain. I can see it all. I remember most of my childhood and tears come to my eyes because of how much I wanted to be like any other girl. Smiling and laughing. I hid my hurt and shame and guilt well. I had lost my innocence and I wanted it back.

But then, I remember the good times. Times playing waitress with my grandma (she's the one who told me about Jesus). Times when I laughed with my dad. I can't really remember any good times with my grandpa. It is all clouded over with the hurt and pain.

I remember...it's okay. To forget is hard...to not forgive is torture. To forgive is hard, but in the end it is all worth it.

Crying in the Shower

I know I just wrote not too long ago...about two hours ago or so, but I wanted to share this, too.

Sometimes when I'm in the shower I will sing and sometimes even cry. Today, as I was in the shower listening to music, Holy Spirit gave me utterance and I started to cry. Not just any crying. I mean anguish filled crying! I don't even know why. But that isn't the point, is it? There doesn't always need to be a reason to cry. Crying without cause, is just as meaningful if not more so as crying with a cause.

The interesting thing about crying in the shower is that the water as it runs over you takes the tears away. The water washes you clean.

Thank you, Jesus, for unusual situations that make us think and savor your love for us. I love learning things from you.

Valentine's Day 2010

Today is Valentine's Day here and I must say, it is a great day to start a new blog! I'm really excited about it. I have another blogspot blog, but I don't write on it much. I hope that this one will get more of my time to write journals/blogs and stuff.

I don't know if you were wondering about the title I gave this blog. If so, I can tell you why I picked it. I wrote a poem called Penny Thoughts years ago and I thought this phrase would make a great title. Here's the poem.

Penny Thoughts 

I met a man
not too long ago.
He seemed to have
a lot on his mind.

Nobody wanted to hear
what he had to say.
but I asked...

I want to know
what's in your head.
Tell me, sir, what
is on your mind.
A dollar for your pocket
and a penny for your thoughts.

He said "I ain't
got much to say.
I want the world
to know the Man upstairs."

There was a twinkle in
his eye when he smiled.
He whispered "Jesus Loves You".

Before I knew it,
He was gone and I've
never seen him since.

I wanted to know
what was in his head.
He told me what
was on his mind.
I gave a dollar for his pocket
and he gave me thoughts
worth more than a penny.

I guess that is all for this post. I'm gonna write another one soon. Like later today!